Notice Me for Me
by Dark Lord of the Fallen Angels
Summary: Notice me please. Look past my weakness and see who I really am. Look past what's frowned upon by society find the true me. I show a mask for you, but it's cracking. And if you don't care I'll build it back up, but even stronger. T just incase it's turned multi chapter. Really just k for the first chapter/poem!
1. Chapter 1

**yes yes I know I should work on my other story but I had to get this out. I've been feeling a bit depressed lately I want my father robotics me for other things than just math. I don't cut or anything like in the poem but my mood hasn't been so high. Please review if you want this to turn multi chapter or if you just really like it. Love you guys, I'm not quitting on my other two stories!**

Please,

Just notice the things,

I can do.

It hurts,

It's hurts so much.

Depression is slowly overtaking me.

My childhood burns.

Unforgiving.

I can do so much,

But You will never notice,

You want to see me as what you want,

I live by your standards.

I love the things I love,

But that's not good enough.

Please.

Notice me for,

...Me...

The child in me has long grown up.

Never once have I cried,

For myself.

I slice my flesh with indifference,

Relishing in the feeling of the fact that,

I exist.

But you wouldn't understand,

Just another thing,

You look down upon and wish I was better.

I am weak

I am pathetic

I am a masochist

I am an artist

I am a musician

I am a gardener

I am

...Me...

I long since have given up on suicide,

I live with the cuts I inflict upon myself.

I am sick

I am a freak

I am a demon

I am no longer the child I should be

I am

...Me...

I am troubled

I am bad luck

I am a killer

I am lonely

I am depressed

I am

...Me...

So hear me out,

Accept me for

...Me...

I try,

Try so hard.

Please,

Please,

Please,

Notice me for,

...Me...


	2. Chapter 2

**Another poem. You want this to be an actual story? Some of this is my actual feelings (the sorrow not self harm or suicide or anorexia). Comment I would love reviews! Thanks!**

All I want is someone,

someone to love me,

for me.

They don't have to be my lover,

They can just be a friend.

Just listen,

Listen to me.

It may sound selfish,

but,

I need to let it out.

Abandonment,

one of my greatest fears.

When you leave without me,

I walk behind.

Stinging in my chest

I'm sorry,

I really am!

I was just a little late!

Please,

Please don't leave.

I'm sorry.

I just want one.

Just one person.

Who would listen,

Listen to me!

Listen to my heart just bleeding out,

Be my shoulder to cry on,

The one to get me.

I want to tell them.

_My fears!_

_My troubles!_

_My secrets!_

So much,

So much about _me_,

That no one else cared to listen too.

It hurts,

It hurts so much.

The happy face I put up,

Turning into a grimace full of the life I truly live,

As you continue to walk.

Farther,

And farther you get.

The friends,

That truly aren't.

The life that truly isn't.

It hurts.

The ones I have can't see past the front that I put up,

But hell,

Are they really my friends don't they care?

No you say?

I know.

I know I have no friends.

I know that they don't understand the clues I give.

Occasional intelligent remarks.

Brilliant ideas.

Scratches across my arms,

I even gave a lame excuse.

But hell,

They believed it knowing that I'm just a lame excuse for space.

I tried and tried,

But it isn't.

I have given up on suicide it just doesn't work.

Slitting my wrists.

Over dose.

Swallowing bleach.

Hanging.

Bringing a gun to myself.

I have tried it all,

it just doesn't work.

Self harm is the next best thing.

I hate myself!

I hate how ugly I look!

I hate it.

It hurts,

Help,

Notice,

_please._

I starve,

I starve myself,

I'm obviously fat and ugly.

I have to work.

Where you ask?

The bar.

Where else you ask?

You don't want to know.

What else you ask?

Anything.

It hurts.

It burns.

It kills.

It's _me_.


	3. Chapter 3

**just 2 more poems till the story starts. Sorry forgot to say I don't own Naruto!**

Love ones you say?

No I have none.

What about the hokage you say?

It obvious,

It not love,

Its the village.

What about your friends you say?

I have none,

Its obvious,

I'm alone.

No one,

No one loves a little beggar boy like me.

Isn't it hard you say?

It is.

But you get used to the pain.

It hurts.

The little hints I give.

They don't register.

I'm stuck.

I'm stuck on to a wall.

Everyone just walks by me.

Admiring and judging.

Watching me struggle to get off.

Get of the wall.

I want to join them in the happiness.

You know,

I know,

We know,

It won't happen.

Walk by.

Admire from a distance.

There is a red rope separating you from me.

My screams are ignored.

The just glare and yell.

Their screams.

Their screams burn.

I hate them!

Yet I love the pain they inflict,

Because in some twisted way.

I love it.

I can't stand it,

But I don't know what I'd do without it.

It's weird really,

I can't handle kindness.

I just don't know how to react.

You wouldn't understand though.

Please.

It hurts.

Being that lone painting.

Alone,

On some large wall.

A rope,

Separating me from everyone else.

It hurts.

Come,

Please.

Lift me off,

Bring me down,

Link hands,

And let's go.

It hurts,

Please.

The nails making me bleed out.

It hurts.


	4. Chapter 4

I can see them,

They're everywhere.

Please help!

I'm scared.

They look at me with those red eyes,

Judging eyes.

Disgusted.

I'm scared,

Please!

Please help!

It's dark,

I'm scared of the dark.

The dark is when they come out.

Blackness doesn't conceal their furry.

Their disgust,

Their hate.

My hate,

Their hate.

It seems that no one likes me.

Maybe because in fat.

Maybe because I,

...I

...

Why?

Why do I live like this?

In hate,

Resentment.

I wish I would just die.

I will die,

But I must suffer.

Suffer worse than anyone else ever has.

Before I gain bliss.

I can't go back.

Not to the foster homes,

Not to the orphanage,

Not the hospital.

I can't go,

Go anywhere.

I'll live as a ninja,

So when I die,

I would know that I did something good for once.

I've been tortured.

It's a strange feeling,

When your blood is everywhere.

When you are being abused.

Just a little more and I'll gain it.

I'll gain,

... bliss...

Just a few more days,

A few days till my birthday.

I'll spend it all alone.

Singing,

Surrounded by my friends.

My kunai,

My razor,

My knife.

They,

They are my friends.

My sharp objects,

They never left me.

They never made fun of me.

They never hurt me.

They helped me,

Helped me cope when suicide wasn't an option.

I love them.

My kunai is kaa-chan,

She's always there for me.

My razor is tou-son.

He knows how to keep a secret.

My shuriken is my older sibling.

They know way more than me, and are there when kaa-chan and tou-san aren't.

What a happy family.

My family.

**story will start next chapter, first time I'll try not going canon so be nice! REVIEW**


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